Posted by partlycloudy on August 30, 2004, at 8:07:08
Why is it that when you're depressed you can't remember what it's like to feel peace? I made a decision that was difficult for me - giving up a part-time job - and instead of appreciating the freedom that gives me, I feel like I gave up on yet another job in defeat.
This past weekend was when my active status turned off. Can no longer log on to the company's website. I deleted the email contacts I had, and destroyed any customer information I had on file. I'm a failure and feel like I attached way too much importance to a job that I could never give enough attention to. I already hold a full time job and I had taken this other one on for "fun".
Well, it was never fun. It was work from day one. The woman who had recruited me badgered me incessantly about booking sales, recruiting others, being in on the ground floor, yadda yadda yadda. I pushed her off every time, but like a yappy little dog, she kept on harping on me. I ended up screening her calls and deleting all her emails. I stopped selling anything and made a conscious decision to lose my active status by doing so.
I had mountains of paperwork to toss away. I sat in the living room with the floor covered all around me. In making room in my home, I feel like a carved out a hole in my heart, too.
poster:partlycloudy
thread:384043
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/384043.html