Posted by spoc on June 1, 2004, at 11:03:37
In reply to Re: Me and my bro were talking about women and..., posted by owenus32 on June 1, 2004, at 10:43:03
> That is so true, when I was with one of my ex's who was really beautiful the sex couldn't carry it for more than a month. Than ,like an idot I dated this woman I WASN"T attracted to saying " well, it's not about looks " and that didn't work out either lol
<<<<<< Yeah, but there's this weird thing that can happen naturally, that I'm always talking about having happened to me at some point. Previously looks had been most of the "igniting" factor for me too, but then I got into my first relationship where due to constant proximity, I got to know and became wildly attracted to someone I felt NOTHING for physically for months. It was all based on personality.
After that, by nature I always NEEDED to get to know someone first before I could feel attracted, regardless of how they looked, including hot hot hot. The ones who didn't have the patience for that self-screened themselves out, which was a great bonus.
Now, it's true that I can kinda tell when there will be NO CHANCE I could end up attracted. But I found that the pool of possibilities is just a lot lot bigger than I would have thought, by the change in my natural process. So there is gray area between feeling immediate attraction and chancing dating someone for whom you feel nothing.
Maybe go with the ones who make you laugh, startle you with how much you relate to what they say, whom in their company, all seems right with the world. With them may be where the greatest potential for things to catch fire lies.
But perhaps that is only really possible if you happen to be thrown together with them often for some reason (work, bus, apartment complex, school, mutual friends, hobby group, etc.), rather than having to make formal dates with someone to whom you are not yet attracted...
poster:spoc
thread:352511
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/352701.html