Posted by TexasChic on May 10, 2004, at 16:02:09
In reply to My life theme: Constant abandonement, posted by Tina33 on May 9, 2004, at 16:32:16
I don't really have any answers for you, but your post hit a nerve with me and I thought I could at least say you're not alone. I've been doing alot of thinking on my life lately, and the theme is similar to yours. I've come to realize what a people pleaser I am. I do *everything* for people, and at my own expense. Then I'm constantly disappointed by these same people. Why can't they be as considerate of me as I am of them? Somehow I have to find a happy medium in all this.
I think you and I both have to let go of the fear of doing something to cause people to not like us. How you do that, I don't know. But its obviously the key. Like you said, your girlfriends speak their minds and the guys stay. I think I somehow communicate that its okay to treat me badly rather than standing up for myself. Its like I 'say' one thing, and expect another.
The most important thing I've learned from therapy is you can't change people, you can only change yourself. We can't make people be more considerate of us, but we can act differently so that people will respond to us differently. Does that make sense? I'm still trying to apply that to my life. Its not easy, but all I can do is keep trying.
poster:TexasChic
thread:345132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/345467.html