Posted by LynneDa on May 7, 2004, at 15:07:19
In reply to Re: Baby Steps, posted by geri122 on May 7, 2004, at 14:45:22
Hi Geri -
Anger is caused by so many things. Obviously it's how you react to it that is what matters.
1. Avoid people or situations that typically make you angry as much as possible. (Duh - sounds logical, but many people, like me, are drawn to drama and I almost unknowingly allow myself to get into volatile situations just for the "fun" of it. Sick I know, a bad pattern, but one many people get into.)2. Take a multi-vitamin & extra Vitamin B. It does not become toxic, you'll "excrete" the extra (so it will look very yellow - not to worry!). The B Vitamins help strengthen your nervous system, which helps you stay a bit calmer.
3. Find a better outlet for your emotional energy on a daily basis - instead of letting them get bottled up & then exploding. Punching bag? Running? Writing? Dance? Yoga?
4. The more times you speak up about the little things that bother you, the less you will blow up. For example: calmly disagree with someone 10 times a day versus blowing up once a day :-).
5. Can you enlist a friend to forcibly drag you away when they can see you heating up? This is the hardest thing to do and I certainly could not do it every time (hardly ever actually), but walking away is worth a try!
Honey, the main thing I can tell you is I know that blow-up/anger feeling. It's like a volcano and you can't stop what comes out of your mouth - rational or irrational. It is different than normal anger. Control is a hard thing to master under the best of circumstances and, because you don't have a history of anger and acting out, I am betting that it is hormonal.
Also, can you keep track of your worst anger moments? Is it worse right before your period? Does chocolate or caffeine help you feel better? If so, the pill may help you. NOT that I'm condoning putting teenagers on birth control!!! That is a very personal decision, but from a hormonal stand-point, it is a better place to start than going straight to an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication.
The other thing that will help you is counseling. Talking things over with someone is SUCH a good release, I can't tell you. Talking to friends is good, but I get a lot of helpful tips from my counselor and I feel accountable to be able to report improvements in my behavior so I seem to work harder on the parts of me I can change or control versus trying to do it on my own.
You will get there sweetie! Everyone's path is different, but my wish for you is that you get some help earlier in your life rather than later. You are already pretty self aware and that is a big step you know!!
Have a good weekend & thanks for keeping in touch!
~ Lynne>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
poster:LynneDa
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/344455.html