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Re: My two cents » socialdeviantjeff

Posted by fogmama on February 6, 2004, at 16:05:37

In reply to Re: My two cents, posted by socialdeviantjeff on February 6, 2004, at 0:07:21

jeff,

<<I hate remembering all this crap>>

I want to express my gratitude to you for going through your story. Personally, I felt benefited by knowing that I wasn't the only one with SA who had this kind of history.

Mine was not as severe as some of the others' stories, but it did involve some physical attacks at the hands of other kids. After the initial attacks ended, all that was required to keep me terrified were threats. "We're gonna beat you up after school..." I think they enjoyed my fear. Creeps. And these were girls, my friends, not boys. I was targeted for being different looking, smart, even having funny shoes. This continued from 3rd grade to high school, where mercifully the abuse receded after my freshman year. My dh has a similar story except his started in high school - and was far worse than mine.

My dh is a martial artist now - no doubt inspired by his early inability to defend himself - so his ideas about keeping our son safe from bullying are focused on his being physically capable. Martial arts can have a profound effect on self esteem, I know, but I've also known a number of people who became "tough" through martial arts without truly developing self respect. (No, dh is not one of them!)

I found your comments on your daughter inspiring, jeff. To those of you with kids - what strategies have you followed to help ensure they don't carry the burden with them of your early difficulties? Ideas welcome.

fm


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