Posted by Karen_kay on February 4, 2004, at 13:45:50
In reply to Re: Reality or perception? » Karen_kay, posted by fallsfall on February 4, 2004, at 13:17:06
The people you trust ARE GOING TO LIE!!!! Your friends are going to tell you that your arse looks big. They aren't going to tell you that you aren't really intelligent. Your best friends aren't going to tell you that your perception on reality is wrong. Those are the people that you can't trust.
Take for instance... I have a friend who admittedly look like the girl ogre on "Shrek"... She pointed it out to me. Now, she's always telling me, "I look hotter than you, ect." And I always agree with her (but I don't in my head and I'm just waiting for the day when she REALLY makes me mad and I can finally tell her...) but she also has a VERY negative view of reality and people in general. She refuses to speak to anyone who appears to have any money of sorts, because she doesn't accept a lifestyle of overindulvence, though she's overweight. She also holds the assumption that people who have money, or come from money, think are rude and don't like people who don't have money. So, she refuses to speak to them. So, basically she's doing what she dislikes to the people she dislikes. She also believes that everyone has some sort of agenda to hurt everyone else. While I try to convince her that isn't true, she is better at debating so I just give up.
The people you trust aren't the ones who will tell you the truth. My therapist wouldn't say I'm ugly, even if he thought it. Would a therapist tell a person they were ugly if he thought it were true? Come on, that woudl be harmful to the client. Or telling the client he were unintelligent, or anything else that may be harmful, even if it were true...
And how can you determine your worth if you find out it is based on lies? Or is it OK to just lie to yourself if it makes everything OK? I guess my problem is that I've just been "lying" so long I don't know what the truth is. I want so hard to believe everyone is good, completely good. But I know that isn't true. But, it seems my whole life is fantasy. And my therapist doesn't seem to think that's normal or healthy. But, isn't it better to think good thoughts than to realize that bad things do happen? I mean, I'd rather not know about bad things and continue living a fantasy than to realize that bad things do happen and have to deal with them... That's sad and I don't like to be sad. I'm just now realizing how much I sound like a child. I really wish I had a normal mother to call right now. :( Why does the world have to have bad things too? Can't we just *wish* them away? On the count of three now...
poster:Karen_kay
thread:309326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/309367.html