Posted by Temmie on July 26, 2003, at 12:38:00
In reply to Re: Pain » Temmie, posted by fallsfall on July 26, 2003, at 10:27:54
Well ... I'm fifty, but I look late 30s to 40-something, and Dennis looked old. Like a friend of my dad's. Still, I AM old myself .... But then I didn't like his cologne (am I repeating myself?), and his jewelery was a bit flashy. He was also shorter and chunkier than I'm usually attracted to -- but, hey -- I'm no longer a size 6/8 myself. He wanted to hold my hand, before I felt affectionate to do so .... But after glass after glass of wine, there I was -- squeezing his fingers and rubbing his hand myself! (Apparently I have no shame, or was just lonely lonely lonely for physical contact). Then he kissed me, and I kind of pulled away and said I wasn't ready for a "big sloppy French kiss" right then -- but he also told me I was "foxy" (that's kind of an antiquated term, isn't it?), and that I'd already given him "a couple of erections" just in the things I said ... the way I looked, etc. I could handle all that -- but when he asked if he could "eat my pussy," well -- yeah -- that might be fun sometime down the road -- but I felt a little objectified. That's what was icky. It's one thing to lean in for physical contact (even badwy conversation) with someone you have a little "chemistry" with -- but I felt, I don't know ... kind of like -- well, not quite whorish -- but something that just wasn't right. He felt me up while we were hugging goodbye -- and that was okay -- but when he started rubbing between my legs -- in public -- on the library mall -- and casting furtive glances left and right to see who might be looking. Icky! I couldn't wait to finish the "hug goodbye" and be on my way.
That was the disaster part of it. Excuse me for being so blunt.
On a plus side -- it was enormously gratifying, I suppose, that SOMEONE found me attractive, interesting, etc. Maybe others will feel the same. Preferably men more my type. Money is okay. I've lived with wealth and travel -- but there's just gotta be that certain "something" -- I'm much more of a "bed-head" kind of gal than carefully coifed. I'm more ... into the youthful aspects of camping, than touring the local lakes on a pontoon boat -- and as menioned, I'd much rather go to the Blues Fest than fly to New Orleans to hear "Dixie" (whatever Dixie is!). Nice guy, but I learned some important lessons.
1. Do not linger with a first meeting or "date" longer than it takes to consume one glass of wine (or one cup of coffee). If there's chemistry there, you'll know, and if you're fortunate enough to find chemistry -- cherish and give it the protection it deserves to blossom in its own time.
2. Be judicious in personal disclosures. You don't have to get everything out on the table in one night alone.
3. Do not feel the need to hold someone's hand just because they tell you they'd like you to, or it "feels good."
3. Do not use (or tolerate) vulgar language.
4. Do not entertain discussion of sex or sexual practices.
5. Do not kiss. A quick peck on the cheek can quickly get out of hand.
6. Protect your anonymity.
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I can't remember what I've written where (I also have an online diary), and Dr. Bob, and others, if this language is offensive, inappropriate -- and out-of-line, I'm sorry! We are sharing here ... We are all adults .... And perhaps these disclosures will be of interest (or benefit) to others.
* * * * *
I'm a bit mushy, but I love you guys. I've gotten more help/support here than anywhere else -- and I'm so delighted to have found you.
Temmie
poster:Temmie
thread:244403
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/245540.html