Posted by Penny on July 5, 2003, at 11:09:33
In reply to Depressed With Children (JYL), posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 10:27:49
> Most of all, I worry that I have passed these bad genes to my kids. I also worry that they are learning the wrong ways of coping by watching me. I don't want to give them this pain.
>
> Just one more thing to feel guilty about...Is there a right way to cope? I think we cope as best we can at the time.
Perhaps your children don't understand, and perhaps one day they will, or maybe not. Regardless, you didn't choose to be this way, and you have to try to forgive yourself for being human.
Speaking as the child of a depressed mother (whose depression went unacknowledged and untreated), it is a painful thing, as it is painful for anyone to see someone they love go through such terrible pain. But speaking now as an adult who suffers from depression herself, I understand why things were the way they were when I was growing up. Of course, it doesn't change what was, but it does change my perspective.
What I have had to learn, to get over much of the anger I held toward my parents for many years: Parents, just like everyone, only do the best they know how at the time.
Just like we do the best we know how at the time in dealing with this illness.
It's an illness. It's not your fault.
And your guilt is just one more sign of how much you love your children.
P
poster:Penny
thread:239472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/239480.html