Posted by fallsfall on July 5, 2003, at 10:27:49
JYL -
You mentioned in another post that you have 5 small children. I have 3 large children. I think it is really hard to be depressed with children.
First, I know what I am not giving to my children that I want to (and should). I can't focus my mind on their issues, or remember them past the time of the conversation. So I can't give them the thoughtful teaching that they deserve. I always love them, but sometimes need to yell or push them away because I don't have the capacity right then. I don't take them on "outings" because I just want to sit in the house. I don't let them do certain things because I can't get enough energy to drive them where they need to go. My 15 year old won't let me help her with her homework because I can't speak in sentances.
Second, children, both big and small, bring a certain amount of noise and confusion and neediness into the house. I can't tolerate any of these. I find that I have to restrict certain activities just because they drive me crazy. I can't imagine being depressed with little ones. At least my big ones can sort of understand (and be mad about) my restrictions.
Most of all, I worry that I have passed these bad genes to my kids. I also worry that they are learning the wrong ways of coping by watching me. I don't want to give them this pain.
Just one more thing to feel guilty about...
poster:fallsfall
thread:239472
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/239472.html