Posted by yesac on June 27, 2003, at 11:53:15
In reply to Re: Eating disorders » yesac, posted by janejj on June 26, 2003, at 18:19:06
> My mood can be severly altered by the numbers on my scale. I weigh myself like 6 times a day. I guess I should throw them out, but I wouldn't be able to.I only allow myself to step on the scale once per day, and I do it first thing in the morning so that it will be the lowest. I know it will just be too depressing if I did it at the end of the day. But even once a day is a lot.
> I just feel that to be accepted i have to be petite. If i don't fit into a size 4 or 6 then some how i just feel i am not worthy. I look through magazines, see actresses in Movies, see regular people on the street and I feel like a huge giant compared to them. I am 5'8, so I always feel like a giant.Yeah, this is sort of one of the things I was thinking about when I posted my question in the getting to know you quiz thread... why is life so unfair? Like, why do some people get to have great bodies, be slim and petite and whatever. Not fair. Every day I wish I was skinnier. I'm not tall - 5'4", average height I guess. My weight is within the "healthy range" but I just wish it was lower. Every single day. Another obsessive habit I have is looking at basically every person I see and determining whether or not they are skinnier than me. It's ridiculous.
The whole situation wasn't helped because last year I gained like 20 pounds or so due to birth control. Then, I went off of it, lost 25 pounds (maybe aided by Effexor a little bit). Then gained about 5 pounds which I was basically okay with. But over the past couple months I've gained another 10 pounds or so because of Lamictal I think. And that is really depressing me. I really want to lose it.
poster:yesac
thread:237080
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237508.html