Posted by Eddie Sylvano on May 15, 2003, at 10:13:53
In reply to Re: Why? » Eddie Sylvano, posted by WorryGirl on May 14, 2003, at 17:39:05
> I thought I was making a friend or two among another group of women, and asked the women for her phone number and casually mentioned us taking our kids to the zoo, and she looked at me as if I belonged in the zoo, and took my # in that same way women do when strange men give them their #s, after which they quickly dispose of it in the garbage can (if they're nice enough to even take it).
---------------That sucks. I feel like I can understand your frustration, though. I've pretty much given up on trying to make people my friends. It's pretty rare that I meet someone that I want to hang out with, anyway. Still, in high school I was in much the same boat. I'd hang out with someone off and on, think they like me, suggest we do something, and get the cold shoulder. I also got a lot of people who would be my friend in private, but would disparage me once other people were around. It's disheartening, and I learned to stop trying. Maybe that's bad, but it doesn't bother me. I just can't relate to most people, and vice versa.
>I can tell from reading many of the posts that these people have formed an e-mail friendship outside of this board
---------------I guess different people expect different things from the board. I've never wanted to email anyone privately, or focus on any one person. I just like reading and posting comments or questions when I feel inclined. I'm sure that a lot of other people have a casual relationship with this board as well, posting and reading sporadically, so I wouldn't get too upset if you feel like someone's ignoring you. They probably just haven't had time to respond.
> But I'm afraid that I am developing a dependency on this board. It's so cool that no one knows my real name or what I look like.
------------------It's nice to be able to talk openly with people, and not worry about word getting out to your social circle. Another reason why it may be best to keep messages on the board, and not get entangled with more intimate relationships.
> These people owe me nothing, and I love them all, I really do. I don't want to sound sappy, but there is not one person here that I couldn't find something admirable about, except for myself.
> You are kind, so kind, and I cry as I write this, because I've been kicked around so much most of my life, that now, when I'm not, and I want to sit back and enjoy life, no one is interested.
------------------You're not a bad or worthless person. Believe me. I mean, there are plenty of people on the boards that I probably never read postings from, due to either having read them before (and not feeling that I had anything to offer), or just lack of time. I do tend to read your posts, though, because they're very expressive, and I can relate to a lot of what you talk about.
> Have you ever cried off and on for days? Have you ever gone off on a rage over nothing? Have you ever felt that if you faded from this world, aside from your family, no one would notice? Have you ever felt like whatever you said, or how you said it was done in the worst way possible?
-------------------I'm sure most everyone here has had feelings of worthlessness and loneliness that overwhelmed them. I'd be surprised if most of us haven't contemplated suicide within the last couple years. You read these people's posts... do you think that they're worthless people? Of course not, and you're no different.
> I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, but it seems like most people don't have the lack of social skills to go along with it.
-------------------Well, we all have our handicaps. The sad truth is that we're not all treated equally. I'm sure there are overweight people here who get ignored because of the way they look, shy people who get ignored for seeming aloof, depressed people who don't feel up to participating in life, and on and on. If you're not born chatty, attractive, and motivated, you either have to work harder to try to be like that, or find a state of being that's natural and comfortable for you. You can't control other people, and it's probably a waste to worry about it. Just be the person that you want to be, and feel sorry for anyone who doesn't appreciate that. They don't get to be your friend, and they wouldn't have made a good one anyway. I've had maybe 3 real friends in my 30 years, but they've been the best, and I didn't have to pretend anything when I was around them. That's what I want from a friend.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:226613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030506/msgs/226815.html