Posted by WorryGirl on April 2, 2003, at 16:52:55
In reply to Why should the man pay?, posted by gabbix2 on April 2, 2003, at 16:30:58
> Its an honest question. I don't understand why its up to the man to pay if a womans working.
> I would sure like it if a man paid, but I'd not expect it. It seems like holding onto the traditions that are convenient for us and getting angry about the ones we don't like (women being paid less for example)
>
> I meant that as a question though, really.
> I'm open to hearing different sides.
I could be opening up a can of worms, and this is strictly my opinion, which isn't carved in stone or in any way the only opinion that I feel is "right".Most of the time, when men (who aren't physically handicapped in some way) pursue women, they are ultimately looking for sex (every man I've asked who has been honest with me has admitted this). Women seem to be looking more for security, love, commitment, etc. than they are for sex (I'm excluding female sex-aholics who seem to be in the minority). The men enjoy the security, love and commitment, too, but that's not usually what they're originally seeking.
Could women be seeking these things because they are often not earning as much as men? If a woman makes more money than the average man is she still looking for these things, or does she then have a different perspective? Such as seeking companionship strictly for fun (sex and/or companionship).
The women who truly enjoy sex seem to be the ones who feel fulfilled in their lives, whether financially, career-wise or romantically.
Because men are usually the ones pursuing women for their ulterior motive, sex, I guess tradition has always had it that they are the ones who pay for trying. Even if they don't succeed, the women owes them nothing. A women agrees to have sex because she is ready and willing, even if it means waiting until the couple is married. Some men seem to enjoy the pursuit. Others resent being financially responsible for a date, even if they, too, are seeking sex, maybe because many women do have a higher earning capacity then they used to?
Not all are tending children at home and 100% dependent on their husband's salary, or earning $8.00 an hour as a receptionist. Is this where many men would still like us ALL to be? Thankfully, I don't think so.The modern men of today have learned to share responsibilities at home and come to grips with the fact that their wife may earn the same or more than they do.
Should a man such as this be expected to pay for a date when he has asked her out? Absolutely, and it has nothing to do with earning power, and everything to do with desire. He or she who desires will do what it takes to accomplish his mission. That goes for females, too.If I were single and extremely interested in a man who showed little interest in me I would try to appear as enticing as possible subtly. If that didn't work, I might send a friendly e-mail asking if he had seen such and such movie and would he like to come? If he said yes, I would glady pay for his ticket, too, although if he offered to pay for mine, I would see that as a sign that he wanted to "take care of me". I don't know if this is bad, but I certainly would enjoy it! The kiss afterwards would all depend on the chemistry during the date.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:214613
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030401/msgs/215519.html