Posted by Rach on January 8, 2003, at 3:25:37
In reply to Re: Checkin' Out » beardedLADY, posted by Tabitha on January 8, 2003, at 0:56:45
It's been said before, but I'm going to say it anyway.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when posting on this board is that people will be human. Not only will they be human, but they will be human and suffering from depression, and therefore more likely to have a negative, cynical view of the world.
A message on a board is completely open to interpretation. Even with the most bland, or sincere, or clinical words, a message is liable to be interpreted in any number of ways. Often, it is our own frame of mind when reading a post that 'transfers' tonal meaning into the message. If I am down, I am more likely to read a message in a negative light. If I am happy, I am more likely to see jokes and light heartedness.
We gain about 80% of a person's meaning by their body language (including tone of voice). Therefore, on a forum such as this, all we have to go on is the 20% in relation to the words the person has chosen. It is almost impossible to decipher a person's tone of voice in a written message without the use of extras, like smilies :), or unless we know that person very very well. Even then, we can get things wrong.
I'm positive that beardy never intended to be hurtful. Her choice of words was unfortunate, perhaps flippant. People reacted according to their interpretation of beardy's message. Which is natural and okay. This has been nobody's fault, just an unfortunate side effect of not being face to face with people.
Don't go because of a misunderstanding, beardy. I hope the people you offended will understand that you never intended to hurt anyone, will hear your apology, and perhaps this whole incident can be accepted as a misunderstanding and filed away in the 'over and done' box. I don't think anyone thinks you are intentionally cruel, in fact, I have seen you in moments of pure kindness, and I'll miss your face 'round here.
poster:Rach
thread:34786
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030104/msgs/34817.html