Posted by shar on August 22, 2002, at 19:15:18
In reply to What should I expect from therapy?, posted by tina on August 22, 2002, at 14:00:12
T-
I have been in therapy since my early twenties. It was a way of staying alive long before I began to grow in any significant way. It is still, to some extent, a way of staying alive for me (a pro-life gesture my therapist would say). The "me" that goes to the appointment(s) every week is not the same "me" that has the means, motive and opportunity to do myself in at the drop of a hat.So that's one thing. I don't know how much or if you struggle with suicidal ideation, but there may be a 'you' that feels safer in therapy than out. That, of course, would be more underground for you, probably, not an obvious reason at all.
I would encourage you to believe it is a process (I'm sure you know that already). Plus, if I understand correctly you have a LOT of shit to overcome, heal, grieve, because of your early years. Abuse makes it a different kind of picture, in my opinion. And I know you have these *heavy* depressions or anxieties to deal with. However, there are probably ways to get part of what you want now, while working on the other.
My therapist frames it as a sort of coexistence between the 'me' that will never be convinced that death is not the answer, and the 'me' that needs something in the present to keep on going. The keeping on can take many forms, and include fun, even. Personally, fun tends to elude me because I never really learned how to do it until I started drinking...and that form of fun has its own drawbacks... So, recently, I have been making a good faith effort to acknowledge the good stuff, even if it is limited, and even if it is not what I ultimately want. I still want to see it because that helps me build up the 'me' that wants to live.
Do you feel you are exactly where you were when you started therapy? No changes at all? Or, just not enough?
Finally, setting goals can be a very good thing, because it can help you feel more like you are accomplishing something rather than just spinning your wheels. Goals and choices, imo, really are the foundation for most of what we do in life, whether they are spoken or unspoken. And, getting them out in the open can be really helpful.
And there are tons of other techniques that can be used (I bet you'd like sculpting or psychodrama) to exercise different parts of our minds/spirits.
Good Luck,
Shar
poster:shar
thread:29063
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020820/msgs/29080.html