Posted by BarbaraCat on August 1, 2002, at 2:11:39
In reply to Failure that I am, posted by ensoul on July 31, 2002, at 18:40:23
You're not a failure. Sometimes life just sucks and you have to put one foot in front of the other. Eventually the wheel turns and things improve. I've had intense trauma in my life as well and at times have thought I simply could not go on. Like you, no escape at night either, when I managed to fitfully drift off. About a month ago I had an epiphany. I was about to take my thyroid med and remembered how so many times I fretted about 'what if we had a major war or a catastrophe and I could no longer get my thyroid, well, I would die a slow feeble death, that's what, oh god...' I was feeling pretty good and just chuckled at that thought. I thought, 'well if that catastrophe happened, why, I would just do whatever I had to and I would sure enough acquire some thyroid because I'm very resourceful and can depend upon my strengths to survive no matter what.' At that moment, I saw how my thinking about a situation changed depending on my state of psychic energy and by God I WOULD find a way to get through anything. This may seem like a no brainer and self evident, but I can guarantee that the suffering you're experiencing is due to fear about the future. In the moment, you can handle it, whatever it is.
A book that has helped me alot is "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. I hope you read it. You've done this before and made it through relatively intact. Life will unfold as it will, you are in the hands of the Divine, you are an integral part of the web of life, it will get better. - Barbara
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:27708
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27751.html