Posted by bookgurl99 on July 24, 2002, at 1:01:41
In reply to Why don't women make the first move??, posted by jay on July 24, 2002, at 0:25:58
Jay,
I'm a woman who dates women, so I understand what it's like to try to meet one. I'd say you have to suck it up and keep trying.
Something that I've noticed shy and short-of-confidence people do is assume that no one they're attracted to could be attracted to them. So a nice girl at works invites you to the movies or something, and you assume she doesn't care. You turn her down 'cause you made plans with your best (male) friend that night and figure you can always hang with her again. She sees it as major rejection and never asks you out again. You spend the rest of your working relationship making polite talk about the weather in the breakroom.
So one thing to do, is keep your feelers out. Don't assume that every woman who looks at you wants you, but give the idea some consideration.
Y'know, you don't need to be a macho jerk -- lots of women like shy men. My family is peopled with talkative women married to shy men. I tend to date shy women; my gf fell in love with me in part because of my gabbiness, but she's terrified of parties.
Good luck out there,
bookgurl99
poster:bookgurl99
thread:27050
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020722/msgs/27057.html