Posted by spiroll on March 26, 2002, at 1:35:54
In reply to YAY!, posted by ST on March 24, 2002, at 3:52:27
Okay, I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life.
I went to the new psychiatric nurse practicioner's office today and within 90 seconds of my talking to her she handed me a printout of bipolar disorder and said she thinks I have a mild form of it called hypomania .... I've been researching and reading all night on the Internet and I'm not so sure that I fit that bill. i don't have ups and downs...just downs...I mean, I have panic attacks and depression, I know that, but not erratic mood swings.
Anyway, she did spend an hour with me before officially saying that was her diagnosis, she prescribed Topamax starting at 25mg's and I'm to work my way up to 100mg in 20 days.
I hate medicine ... I hate swallowing a new pill, I'm so scared of them. But I did take it tonight. I'm thinking ... God - what should I do? Should I wait and see if the medicine works, ... but what would it work on if I don't have mood swings - she said it is used for chronic pain and weight loss (ALRIGHT!!!) and migraines, too - so even if I don't have type 2 bipolar disorder (which she called it, also) it won't kill me, right?
I'm so scared that I just took two xanax.
The lady was really nice and she did refill my xanax prescription without giving me a hassle, she even put a refill on it so I wouldn't have to worry about it for a while. That was a huge relief.
I also got a call from my family doctor today, you remember I had that bloodwork done? Well, she said my testosterone level was really high, 128 (the psych nurse said it was supposed to be between 30 something and 68) and now the GP wants to check me out for polycystic ovaries. I've read on the internet all the symptoms of that and I don't have alot of the symptoms, some but not alot. I'm so scared of all of this, it's so much to hear in one day.
It's all just so much to take in - I could be really seriously ill and when will I know? What does all of this mean? Why in the hell would my testosterone level be so high???? That's just weird. I know you can take birth control pills to control that, but the psych nurse told me today that I can't take birth control pills with this Topamax because then it doesn't work.
So, that's what happened. Now I've got alot more to think about than just having a crappy psychiatrist - now I'm wondering if I should go to him and tell him I went to this new lady and tell him what she thinks is wrong with me and get his opinion, but of course, then I think he'd be really mad at me for going "above his head" so to speak.
Well, thanks for listening, thanks for your support through the past few days, it's helped alot.
Still confused....
Lisa
poster:spiroll
thread:19978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/20921.html