Posted by spiroll on March 16, 2002, at 20:25:20
My psychiatrist, although incredibly intelligent, lacks patience and social tact - I guess ... comparable to bedside manners, so to speak. He makes me feel bad about myself - I feel like I can't tell him what I really feel because he gets mad if I tell him I slipped up or am engaging in old habits, even if I am aware of it and trying so hard to change. I don't mean slightly repremanding, I mean - abrupt, annoyed, irritated, impatient with me.
I wanted to stop taking Paxil because I gained so much weight, and he increased my dosage several times until it was just so obvious it was doing horrible things to me side-effect wise (nightmares, increased panic attacks, increased weight gain, just..all bad things.) so it took nearly six months to try a new med, Celexa - I was so adament about a drug that wouldn't make me gain weight, the first week I gained, I kept gaining, kept feeling worse and worse about myself as he kept upping the dosage higher. I am afraid to go back, he's going to be angry when I tell him I tapered myself off of the celexa and am now relying only on xanax as needed, usually .5mg twice a day...I should take it more but i'm afraid to because I don't want to get addicted to it...and yet, it is the only thing that works.
So I called for my refills a few days ago and he only gave me a two weeks supply of xanax. Indirectly, that means that i have to make an appointment to go and see him and I am so afraid - what on earth am I going to tell him so he won't be angry?
I have an appointment with my family doctor on Tuesday March 19th. Maybe i can ask her to take over the meds? i don't know. I just feel lost, fat, panicked and depressed, and alone.
Well, thanks for listening, any input, feel free to email me directly or post a follow-up. Thanks so much...
Lisa
poster:spiroll
thread:19978
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020314/msgs/19978.html