Posted by fi on March 21, 2002, at 12:30:33
In reply to dad, posted by ELA on March 20, 2002, at 4:46:11
This may seem weird to you, but the fact you dont care about what he wants for you, or seek his approval anymore, is actually the most hopeful thing I think I've read from you!
Its absolutely crucial for your own wellbeing that you *dont* care about his opinion.
It doesnt mean there wasnt and isnt still love for him- that is something quite different. In fact, its much easier to get on with your parents (and even love them) when you have stopped caring about what they think- it takes away the tension. And it means you are, quite rightly, seeing that you are adult in your own right who can make her own decisions.
I'm in my 40s so a lot older than you. My father was never as forceful as yours is, but our opinions about life and what I should do are certainly very different. This used to bother me, and I used to find him a bit scarey at times. Simply leaving home and pushing him to the outer edges of my life helped, in my early twenties.
Now I dont care what he thinks (just as well, given the incredibly tactless things he says sometimes!), and we have a relaxed relationship where we respect each other, and can agree to differ. Tho doesnt stop him trying to persuade me of his views sometimes!
So dont feel bad about not caring!
Fi
poster:fi
thread:20331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20526.html