Posted by ELA on March 20, 2002, at 4:46:11
When I was little, I was the biggest "daddy's girl" going apparantly. I do remember actually. Mum says that as a toddler I would stand at the gate all day waiting for him to come home from work. I would only let him bath me and put me to bed and if mum told me off I would always say, "I'm telling my daddy of you!". Amazing how things change.
I think I've always been a bit scared of him, he's a very overpowering person. As I got older, I think I realised how bitter he was about his life and how he had been treated by his father and it pissed me off that he hadn't decided to be different because of that. I know I will be.
I'm working through Step 8 of the AA programme at the moment and I've come across a poem that sums up where I am regarding my dad at the moment:
"Defining the Problem - Wendy Cope.
I can't forgive you. Even if I could,
You wouldn't pardon me for seeing through you.
And yet I cannot cure myself of love
For what I thought you were before I knew you."The really sad thing is that I don't even care anymore. I can't be bothered to try and live my life the way he wants me to or hold out for the possibility that he might just approve of me one day.
Emma.
poster:ELA
thread:20331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20331.html