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Re: Blush, blush, one of my poems..Peeking

Posted by Lini on February 1, 2002, at 10:23:27

In reply to Re: Blush, blush, one of my poems..Peeking, posted by susan C on January 31, 2002, at 18:51:41

> A kiwi vine is dripping,
> Weeping with the rain.
>
> The window glass is streaming,
> Distorting wind and strain.
>

>
> I cant quite get the last four lines right, but I really like the beginning. What do you think?
>
> Mouse chewing on the end of her pencil

The first four lines are perfect! I would keep building, you committ to a rhythm with the first four, that carried out, will dance off the page.

keep chewing!


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