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writing » IsoM

Posted by ELA on January 26, 2002, at 3:07:25

In reply to Re: good v. bad » ELA, posted by IsoM on January 25, 2002, at 13:01:51

> Talking with another coworker as I worked, I told her I feel like a freak - black & glowering, then cheerful & talkative, all in a matter of a half hour! She was very understanding & said not to worry. But that's what I feel like at times - a freak that's controlled by her brain but not her mind.

This is exactly how I've been feeling at the moment. The thing that's getting to me most at the moment is that I know I'm slipping into one of my dark moods and I still can't stop it. And then whilst 'm in it, I can hear a voice in my mind saying what's this all about then? So annoying.

Yesterday did get a bit better - my brother is 9 years younger than me and is not quite grown up enough yet to not want to "play" with me sometimes. We ended up drawing moustaches and funny glasses on each other's faces with big black pens last night for no particular reason; my mother came in, took one look, burst out laughing and then went out again!

As for what you said about writing about these moods, well I do. Lots. I have kept a diary since I was 9 and as reading and writing are such big parts of my life I tend to put everything down in my diary. I sat and read back through the last few months yesteday actually. Still doesn't make any sense to me. The feelings and experiences are all there, just the reason WHY is still lacking and I think that I am now starting to realise that I may never ever find that.

Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it. I hope your head feels better soon!

Emma.


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