Posted by Roo on December 13, 2001, at 14:42:05
In reply to Why oh why do I do the things I do?, posted by Dinah on December 13, 2001, at 10:54:49
"I'm going to be in town, but
I'm not sure if I'll be seeing clients. I might, or I might not.
I haven't decided yet.""My mother was a teacher, and starting in kindergarten
I never knew if she would pick me up at 3:15 or 5:45,
depending on her schedule. I would wander around the schoolyard and the not knowing was the very worst part. But
that's a stretch to connect to this, and I am always doing things like this anyway."
I DEFINITELY think it's NOT a stretch to connect this. It's obvious
reading this that his words triggered a real primal childhood
trauma. Trauma's don't always have to be big earthquake type
things. You were totally helpless as a child as to knowing when
your mom would show up and it made you anxious. Our parents are
there to take care of us. A part of you probably feared she
WOULDN'T show up and then where would you be? Who would take care
of you? Who would love you? Who would feed you? Maybe you would be
left to die...I'll bet all that stuff was triggered. And now the same
thing with the shrink..."he may or may not" be there for you...you have
to wait and see, just like when you were a kid. It probably brings
up all those same abandonment/survival issues.I'm not sure what you can do to self soothe....maybe just observe
and be mindful of what you're feeling...compassionate. Imagine comforting
a small child. Please don't hate yourself. You are lovable and deserve
stability.
poster:Roo
thread:15439
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15477.html