Posted by mgrueni on November 29, 2001, at 17:30:29
In reply to Depressed or Not Depressed, posted by akc on November 29, 2001, at 16:15:07
Hi Akc, long time not seen :o)
< I cannot decide if I am depressed or just unhappy. >I can`t decide that, either. But I can provide my *outsider* view on things.
I`ve noticed that you
a) think you are not as *worthwhile* to get help as others are. You wrote:< I don't want to take up his or her space with my complaint >
May I comment that? You have the same right as everyone else to complain/whine/seek help. All of us are sometimes in a *good* condition and we then feel fit enough to help others, and sometimes we are down and need someone to help us. That`s natural. I can very much relate to your feelings, I too find myself thinking I am a *burden* for my friends/family and/or that I am taking up the space that is reserved for others (who are worse than I am). But that`s just not true!
b)you seem very confused whether your condition is an illness or just a bad mood.
Tell you what, that`s also not news to me.
It´s the (for me) most disturbing part of depression - the *rollercoaster* thingy. Whenever I feel ok, might it be for an hour or several weeks in a row, I always ask myself if I perhaps just *imagine* having an illness. Similar thoughts as you have described go round my head.
"I wouldn´t be able to laugh or to feel happy if I was depressed." "hey, I was just telling a joke, so that means I can´t be depressed really, can I?".If you ask me, you can. I am not an expert on this issue but as far as I am concerned there are various types of depression and many suffer similar symptoms as you do. I have seen people going off their meds because they felt ok for a few weeks and thought they never were really ill. And then they had a serious breakdown :o(
Akc, please don`t do that. I don`t know you well enough to be able to say whether you are depressed or not, but it *sounds* like you are. And I notice significant similarities to my own emotions (and I´ve been finally diagnosed with depression two days ago - but I *knew* it much longer) and also similarities to many *confirmed* depressees that I am in touch with. Believe me, it`s not that uncommon to wonder if you are just oversensitive and taking your bad emotions too serious. It´s also natural to look for *proofs* that you are NOT ill.Well, I would say, take the good times as they may come. You deserve it. And don´t feel guilty for having a good time! It´s ok, you CAN be depressed but yet be able to smile - if that was not so, the rate of cases of depressed people comitting suicide would be much higher than it already is.
And, you CAN ask for help, ramble as much as you want to whenever you want to. This board is for mutual support if I remember that right, and it`s nice to help others, but it needs people that ask for support as well to actually develop a *discussion*. :o)Take care,
Micha
poster:mgrueni
thread:14542
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14552.html