Posted by Gracie2 on November 27, 2001, at 14:22:37
In reply to Re: Awww Gracie :), posted by sar on November 27, 2001, at 13:07:50
I guess 41 isn't really old, especially in this century. Sometimes though, you know, you get beaten down until you feel so old that you can barely get out of bed in the morning. I suppose that was more depression than age.I will try to keep my life short - my parents kicked me out of the house when I was 17 because I was "uncontrollable". Some friends let me stay with them until I graduated from high school, but then I had to leave. I had no job and no money, and my grades weren't good enough for any kind of scholarship, so I could think of only two choices:
prostitution or the military. I joined the Army, but I didn't like it and was always in trouble.
I finally made sergeant, but it took about twice as long as everyone else (I was in for 7 years). I was stationed in Germany for 2 years, where the main activities among the soldiers were drinking, drugs and sex. (Back in those days, we thought AIDS was a disease that affected only homosexuals,
and drug testing was rare.) When I left Germany, I was single, pregnant and an alcoholic. However, I did quit drinking and taking drugs, and I managed to get down to 5 cigarettes a day (sometimes I really suffered between those cigarette breaks!)I had no communication with my son's father, who was a Navy radar specialist stationed in Italy. I had decided that I didn't want this person in my life forever, so I never told him I was pregnant.
I had my son alone and raised him by myself. I met my present husband when Jake was about 3 years old, and we've been together ever since.
We moved back to St. Louis - can't remember why now- and lived together for about 7 years before we got married. There were a lot of rough spots and honestly, there were probably more bad times than good. Now he is talking about leaving me, but by this time I pretty much feel neutral about it. If he stays, he can sleep in a separate room.
If he goes, I'll help him pack his stuff. I'll fix up the house and move back to Florida (where Jake was born in a Naval Hospital), because I have happy memories of Florida and I love the beach. Living in Missouri, I could not possibly live any further from the ocean, and it makes me sad.
So that is the outline of my life. I left out a lot of sad, ugly details, but I want to leave that part of my life behind. My son turned out fine - he is 20 now, happy and healthy and handsome. He's bright and funny and is engaged to be married - someday. So at least I didn't screw that up.So now it is your turn, Sar!
Gracie
poster:Gracie2
thread:14053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14420.html