Posted by sar on November 19, 2001, at 14:12:31
In reply to Re: back, posted by Kristi on November 19, 2001, at 0:36:34
it was bizarre. i drank a beer and called 911 almost as if i were moving as a body rather than my entire self. i wanted to go to the hospital, for some reason; once there i told them all i wanted was some drug to get these obsessive thoughts of suicide out of my mind (exorcise me of these evil demons dear lord!). and they told me no such things exists. 2 days later i signed myself out.
i suppose hospitals are some sort of safe haven...my roommate was a wonderful woman in her fifties who hugged me and smiled and sighed alot; she was there, like so many others, between rounds of ECT...i think i may have gone this time just to meet the other patients, because it's the only place i know of where peeps can so openly and casually talk about whatever's on their mind, swallowing a bottle of soma and how it hurts to be pumped up, being chased by your terrible axe-wielding husband--all of this without supervision...
i'm not as edgy as i was. the key is to keep the coffee brewing and the merlot pouring slowly. the hot medical student has been comforting me well in my time of need. :)
it's also finally turned grey-skied here, which always calms me down a bit.
kristi--how are you? i'm still seeing the other guy, but he lives in a different city so i see him only on weekends. I NEED SOMEONE EVERYDAY, DAMMIT!
they did adjust my meds, more klono & neuro, and i took my slowly titrating-upwards dose of lamictal today. returned to bed for 3 hours.
thanks all, for writing...
love,
sar, no longer wearing the calf-length tartan skirt the hospital gave her to wear because she might hang herself with the string of her scrub pants...and back to Birks instead of ski socks (i looked funny, yall, i had the staff in stitches when i emerged in my ward-wear...)
poster:sar
thread:14053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14086.html