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Re: continuum of dissociation » Dinah

Posted by Mair on November 13, 2001, at 22:11:06

In reply to Re: continuum of dissociation » Noa, posted by Dinah on November 13, 2001, at 21:44:28

"It would help if I could remember how it feels to be not depressed when I am depressed. It seems my memory storage is related to my mood state, so that when I am depressed it feels like I have always been depressed."

Dinah - are you sure this isn't just a case of how long you've been depressed? I find that I really can't remember a time when I wasn't depressed. More particularly, I can't seem to identify a time or circumstances when I felt good about myself nor can I look back and (in retrospect) feel good about the person I was. For a time my therapist had me trying on a daily basis to write down a positive memory that involved something that I did, and not just my response to something someone else did. It was embarrassing how difficult this is and I really had a very ordinary childhood. I always have taken this memory lapse to be similar to what happens when you have children. Once they arrive it seems like they've been a part of your life forever and you can't really remember the "single or childless" you. Maybe its just that depression makes us so self absorbed.

Mair


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