Posted by Mitch on November 8, 2001, at 9:56:17
In reply to Help!! My Depakote is working, posted by Dinah on November 7, 2001, at 17:03:20
> Well, after two weeks on my new dosage of Depakote,I can really say it's working. I am feeling virtually no anxiety or agitation, haven't taken Klonopin for days, and am sleeping just fine. I also don't feel stupid or foggy.
> Depakote also seems to be increasing my natural tendencies to dissociate and to feel unconnected to other people, as well as to myself. I am getting the unsettling feeling that everything around me is a movie almost constantly.
> Now that I am no longer grounded by anxiety and agitation, I am feeling more and more like an As-If person, an empty shell going about the activities of living.
> Is it better to feel miserable but alive? Is there life without anxiety and depression? What can fill that empty space? Is it the anxiety and agitation I miss or the other things that Depakote may have affected? My therapist had a hard time staying awake in session today. I told him that if he could remember that feeling of incredible boredom, he would have a pretty good idea of how I'm feeling this last week or so.
> I feel incredibly perverse not to feel grateful that the constant anxiety is gone. How can I possibly miss it? Maybe I just need to learn new ways to function without an overactive nervous system.
Hi Dinah,Sometimes I think anxiety is a distraction or diversion that keeps our minds occupied, while we don't get involved with ordinary things that everybody else enjoys due to the anxiousness. It is kind of like a depression "by-default" (that made sense to me when I wrote it-but now it doesn't-I'll leave it there-I just experienced this Deja Vu feeling that kinked my consciousness:0). When you are all agitated you don't miss enjoying things-you are too busy trying to figure out how to get the agitation to stop!
Mitch
poster:Mitch
thread:13624
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13649.html