Posted by tina on November 5, 2001, at 22:37:47
In reply to Re: Please married/committed folk help! :), posted by Mark H. on November 5, 2001, at 19:18:26
> If you've ever been addicted to something and were able to give it up (smoking, for instance), then you already have the skills necessary for breaking off an inappropriate relationship, especially if you can see the similarities in their effect on your thinking and feelings. In the circumstances you describe, "just talking" is like "just having one more cigarette." Neither helps when it's time to move on.
>
> Letting go is painful for awhile, and many people find they need to concentrate on getting through one day at a time (or one hour, or one night). It helps if you treat yourself respectfully and gently, as a person who needs a little extra nourishment and tender loving care at this time. Taking walks or getting other physical exercise helps. Seeking out ways to help others is good too. Hold out for something better. You have to choose to have faith in yourself and in the unknowable future.
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> You can do it!
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> Respectfully,
>
> Mark H.Wow Mark. Really insightful. I just wish your approach worked. I know what it's like to quit smoking but walking away from a relationship with a person you are obsessed with is nearly impossible. I know. I continue these kinds of relationships even though they threaten my own stability and sanity sometimes. Oh I would justify my behavior in a thousand different ways telling myself it's ok, I can handle it, it's no big deal but I knew it was a bad sign when I started hiding it from my husband, family and friends. I think an obsession with a person is extremely hard to overcome if indeed one can overcome it at all. It's too bad there's no Betty Ford Clinic for People Obsession........
poster:tina
thread:13529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13562.html