Posted by sar on August 19, 2001, at 23:45:07
In reply to Re: poetry and accidents » sar, posted by kid_A on August 19, 2001, at 22:07:19
>
> i know the strip club game, and its a little worse there w/ the managers etc etc, you have a high % of managers that are totally coked out and just shady to begin with, its hard to deal w/ for some girls, and some girlfriends that I know don't like the atmosphere to begin with much business wise...i don't think i could ever do it again. maybe my meds have been messing with my emotions/sex drive, but i'm baffled that porn exists! it seems really bizarre...
> i hate computers, they are just a tool, i am an artist by heart, but by designer i mean, graphic designer, so i use computers as a tool to desgin, so i am designing the art for a cd right now for a friend's company, downtemp = kind of like slow hip hop w/ out hip hop vocals, kind of like hip hop beats w/ out the hip hop.... but relaxed and mellow... maybe some vocals, but chill...
that sounds so neet! i love hip-hop, the chill stuff especially (except when i get rowdy and blare the dirtysouth). i'm envious when i see graphic art...it interests me alot but i'm such a computer phobic it's terrible...is it a local cd or could i eventually see it in a store?
>
> im back i think on wednesdays, which is trouble since the person who is in there now is a friend and it's his last vestige of anything since he's not doing fuck all else... but yeah, the owner wants me in there... wednesdays is not a bad night, hump night, and i think i could get it jumping again....good!
> > hey man, the rock n roll lifestyle is like, destroying a hotel room or buying champagne for a bunch of call girls. it's not passing out on asphalt.
>
> yeah, we know... its just a stupid lesson that we have to learn again and again... well hopefully i learnt it for the last time... i had the guy who did my mondays come up to me on saturday and all try to be buddy w/ me out of keeping the peace, thats cool and all but it really doesnt matter, i just cant help it that im some sensitive bitch... passing out in a safe place is good, i know better now...
i'm not one to talk. heh heh, i was so vodka-drunk when i wrote that last message to you...there i am throwing it back over ice and cranberry while lecturing you...> heard it, done it, suffered for it, yes yes yes, i try not to be so stupid anymore but i still do... when we think that just one little thing more will take us beyond where we are, that we need it.... it just pushes us over the limit....
yes, yes...that one more little thing...usually when i get drunk i hold the belief that i am completely sober, that i'm a steel-bellied incarnation of the Buk, another shot, another line, another SOMETHING!
> > i don't know if i do, but i hope so...i know the club lufe, funk that shite...you're daring to pursue it. i'm not made of the same suff.
>
> yes, its stupid its sacred and its profane, its limitless heartbreak and cliffhanging and skydiving, and stupid repetivive stress disorder, i cant believe that i need to go to the drug store to buy some nail polish remover to take off this black nail polish (i told you im rock n roll), at 11:00pm... but i do... yes you do understand, i can tell from your words, so thank you again, i felt so shit tonight until i talked to a friend, at the last moment (all over wednesdays)... but who knows... its all up in the air and scatered by wind, and obscured by clouds... thanks for being sar.....
i like the way that was written. v. much. i understand. i feel driven to live on the edge, do not understand how my mother drives her station wagon 45 mph tapping her fingers to soft elevator music. i need EXCITEMENT--the embarrassment wears thin 'tho. today i walked around work laughing when i wasn't in the bathroom crying (i might be fired for going in drunk the other day). a friend asked me what was so damn funny and i said "my life is so fantastically humorously HORRIBLE"you are kind.
i'm feeling manly now! i haven't painted my fingernails in about 5 years and you're motivated enough to go out late at night to get proper manicure equipment. i paint my toenails but they are looking rather shameful right now. i am embarrassed. i will have to paint ASAP...
(are you good at painting your nails, or do you do the messy rockerboy thing?)
you are kind. so much time i spend wishing i weren't sar...so it's nice when other people appreciate me, or placate me!
(i am finally going to listen to radiohead's Kid A tonight. my bro has it--listened to OK Computer earlier. am now convinced that the karma police are after me fast + furious, ready to arrest and sentence me to a next life of ghandi-esque goodworks. i might enjoy that, tho. so they might make me do something terrible, like be a bedpan cleaner or somesuch.)
i hope you're doin well, kid...
love ya back,
sar
poster:sar
thread:8990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010817/msgs/9946.html