Posted by Ted on August 7, 2001, at 10:44:38
In reply to Alcoholic Friend (very long post), posted by afatchic on August 7, 2001, at 7:39:08
afatchic,
Unfortunately, there is nothing you or anyone else can do. She has to decide when she is ready for a change. The old cliche applies: she can't climb out of the hole until she reaches the bottom. I am afraid all you can do is provide encouragement and emotional support. And even that might be enough to make you and "enabler" because you are helping her keep from "hitting bottom". The only alternative I can think of is to get a local friend or family member to accompany her to AA/Alanon meetings, just to make sure she really goes. Also, it might help *you* to attend a few AA/Alanon meetings just to meet others in both your and your friend's positions.
I understand your grief. Most of us have lost friends and family to alcohol and other drugs. I wish you peace. This is a truly sad way to lose someone.
Ted
> Dear Friends,
>
> I'm very upset and I need someone to talk to. This seems like a good place share my feelings. My best friend and I have been together since Elementary School. Even though I've moved extensively with the Air Force, we remained close. I realized last year that she is an alcoholic. She is a chef and she accidently cut herself with a knife at work. When they took her to the ER, they ran a blood alcohol test and found she was twice the legal limit and this was before lunch. She said at that time she knew she had a problem and swore she would never drink again. She attended one AA meeting and announced she was "cured". A few weeks later she was drinking again. I went back to my home town last month for a visit. The day I arrived, she was in jail on DUI charges. I saw her the night after she was released and she was so drunk, I had to pick her up off the ground. Last night we talked on the phone and she said, "I am not going to quit drinking, I like wine too much. I just need to take it easy." Of course I know she's not capable of moderation. I feel so angry and miserable. I want to help but I can't think of anything that would be of help. If she doesn't realize she has a problem and doesn't want to quit, it seems hopeless. I've even thought of telling her that I won't be her friend anymore. If losing a job and her driver's lisence isn't enough, how about losing her best friend to alcohol? Her drunk driving makes me very angry. I was hit by a drunk driver almost 20 years ago and it caused perment damage to my upper spine. She could injure or even kill someone, maybe a child. Damn it!! Thank you all for listening.
poster:Ted
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/8864.html