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Feeling alone and needy

Posted by AKC on August 5, 2001, at 7:00:09

In reply to Re: How can I run so quickly out of steam? » Willow, posted by AKC on August 4, 2001, at 23:11:00

8 hours have passed and noone writes -- it does hurt. I know I rambled last night. I don't know what it is I need. I know it is my body out of whack. I just need someone to help my through this storm in my head. I watched the Caveman's Valetine yesterday -- he talked about that -- the storm in his head (I think he called it something different). I'm changing my dosage this morning -- but it will take a few days for this to pass. And I have to put on my face to the world between now and then. I cannot stand this. It wasn't suppose to happen again for awhile. I don't have the strength for this. I really don't. That is the problem. And it is my fault. My pdoc didn't want to make any more changes when I last saw her. I was doing really well. But I wanted to keep going up on the topamax because of the weight loss potential. She was worried of the risk of triggering a mania, so she backed me down on the effexor. She is the expert -- yeah, I have studied a little on the topamax -- but I don't have any real knowledge -- I trust my doctor, or at least I say I do. I am just unwilling to do the hard work it will take to lose this weight -- diet and exercise. I wanted a quick fix. A magic pill. So look what I got. Another episode. I cannot do this. It is much too soon. I am not strong enough.


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