Posted by AKC on August 2, 2001, at 9:26:55
In reply to The Virtue of Selfishness..., posted by Kingfish on August 2, 2001, at 8:47:42
Great topic.
To me it is about balance. We must start with selfishness. Because if we don't take care of ourselves first, we cannot then look out for someone else, or give to someone else, etc.
As can be noted by earlier posts, I am a 12-step person. We talk in AA and Alanon about it being a selfish program. I have to put myself first. I have to make sure I don't get too hungry, angry, lonely, tired. So if others have needs that need met, but mine are not met, mine must come first. What good are we to others, if we don't take care of ourselves? Before every decision, I have to ask myself, is this right for me? That sounds very selfish, but for me, it is them most critical decision.
But then, once my "basic" needs are met, at some point, I have to start giving back. Again, I'll borrow from the 12 step programs. In fact from the 12th step itself -- helping others. Recently, in the "My Turn" section of Newsweek, a retired doctor wrote in about how is preacher father would ask his kids each day if they had helped someone. I have always had these grandiose ideas of "changing the world" -- from someone who many mornings can barely get out of bed. But recently, I realize that it might mean just writing a letter to the president or my congressman letting him know how I feel about something.
And of course, we talk on here from time to time about soup kitchens, etc. When energy permits.
But it all starts with taking care of ourselves. And for me, it starts with that idea of not getting too hungry, angry, lonely and tired. And whatever it takes to take care of myself, I must do -- I must be selfish in that pursuit. In that sense, this is a "selfish" program.
Your resident hounddog
poster:AKC
thread:8577
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010731/msgs/8579.html