Posted by Anna Laura on July 12, 2001, at 3:44:09
In reply to Re: speaking of love... » paula, posted by dreamer on July 12, 2001, at 1:08:52
> > Hi All,
> >
> > I'm wondering how it's possible that so many depressed people manage to have romantic relationships at all. One of the things that I've *felt* like my recent diagnosis has explained is the fact that I simply can't trust anyone enough to get involved. I mean *at all.* It also takes me a while to make friends--but the few friends I do have are very close.
> >
> > I guess I'm just curious about how "wierd" I am. In some ways I think I've handled my issues quite well in the last 20 (of my 30) years. But my, um, "love" life is a glaring exception. Does this have any resonance for anyone else? And for those who are in relationships (of any stripe), do you find that the relationship helps with the depression? It's always seemed to me like too much of a risk, but maybe I'm mistaken. (Wouldn't be the first time!!)
> >
> > Paula
>
> You aint weird I'm weirder than the average. Two plutontic friends and a pussycat. So many relationships[not that slapper's my middle name]
> Had relationship for five years; always magical in the beggining, feel alive then boredom comes.
> Trust no-one but try to keep an open mind then the door of love will stay ajar.I've yet to fall deep.
> A wise-ity for the youth, although I'm a springing chicken, beware of the living together it doesn't work well for depressives. One day it's sugar in their tea the next it's salt.
> Jump aboard the love train .
I think you gave a right advice when you said that's good to keep an open mind, so that the door of love will stay ajar. I definitely agree with you on that point.
I don't agree about the youth love stuff you were talking about (one day is sugarly next day could be salty).
The most important relationship of my life actually took place in my early twenties: i was depressed already, divorced already (got married when i was 18: it was pure hell: absolutely no sugar in my tea)
WelI, that year I was sick already, (i was 21) still, i trusted this person for the very first time in my life: i didn't have any clue what trust was about before that. I thought it was about being blind, not seeing the person's flaws, being naive, etc...The real trust it's about seeing the person as he/she is and love him/her despite of this.
It's about accepting the person as he/she really is. And you can do that even if you're depressed:i believe love manages to penetrate deep inside of you in spite of depression, sadness and despair. I know that's possible because i've experienced it.
I had a very strong tie with this guy, it made mature: we have been together for five years; we're still in touch. It was 1991 when we met: i was scary at first, after ten years i can say it was worthy.
Can i still do that? Unfortunately not. I think i grew more cynical, i'm much less open-hearthed/minded then i used to be.
I wish i could feel that way again. Strange thing is that i was much sicker/depressed then i am right now (my problem is mainly anhedonia at the moment).
poster:Anna Laura
thread:7325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7333.html