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Miss Amy 2/2

Posted by Dubya on April 4, 2001, at 0:20:33

In reply to Re: In my prayers, Dubya, posted by Miss Amy on April 3, 2001, at 20:20:12

Sadly though, either by my intentional creation or by anxiety, OCD, depression, I fail to accept even realistic expectations. Forgive my saying this but, sometimes I feel that I would end up on the street b/c, I 'know' I am not good enough to be. This problem of being a 'loser' has haunted me for many years, even today, in a classroom, I am asking myself, 'what is wrong with me'? Forgive my saying this but, throughout my week, suicidal thoughts appear unintentionally and I feel a remote urge to fulfill the thought. I mean to say that, if my mind depicts jumping of a skyscraper, I possibly go to one and well... Yet, I don't want that. I should mention, I don't want to be a spoiled brat so I feel a need to develop skills to be independent. Though, I could never visualize being independent financially.


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