Posted by emilyp on April 18, 2011, at 1:08:53
In reply to Re: Agony, posted by emmanuel98 on April 18, 2011, at 0:05:55
I agree 100% with Emmanuel and Daisy. I especially agree with the comment that you may resent your therapist because he cannot and will not be as committed to the relationship as you are. I say with that some experience as there are times I resent my therapist; yet I am not staying because of him, so I suspect my level of resentment is far less than what you may ultimately feel.
Saying that he won't be as committed does not mean he won't care. But since he is not making the same kind of sacrifice that you would be, his perception of the relationship will be different.Please know that I am not a believer that by moving you can shake off your problems. About 15 years ago, I made a big move geographically, thinking that some of my problems would simply dissolve. I was mistaken. And thinking that the move would be the solution, a lot of time passed during which I could have addressed my problems.
However, I strongly believe that help can be found in many places and clearly can be found in Boston. How will you feel in a year or two when therapy with your therapist needs to end (assuming you cannot stay where you are now forever)? I would think that you will be somewhat regretful that you gave up such a great opportunity.
In my situation, I ultimately did seek out help in my new home. Therapy helped address many of the problems I had - most of which had followed me from my prior address. In addition, being in a new city allowed me to stay busy through exploring and trying to meet new people. It was the combination of therapy and a new home that helped me put my life back on track and gave me the strength to pursue new challenges.
I know you are feeling immense pain, for many reasons. I understand that you think leaving your therapist would be like torture. But like any 'love', the pain may be intolerable at first. Over time, it always lessens and at some point you move on with your life. In this case, if you find someone in Boston who can help you with the problems you face, the pain may lessen a lot quicker. At the same time, you will be further helping yourself by starting a great program and working to advance yourself.
I suspect this is not the advice you want to hear, considering that you made the opposite decision. At the same time, I have been in your shoes before and I feel my experiences are relevant.
poster:emilyp
thread:983016
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/983133.html