Posted by violette on September 9, 2010, at 11:21:39
In reply to Re: can you tell when your therapist, posted by tetrix on September 9, 2010, at 8:58:03
> yes.. I suspect that last time my T deliberately made a mistake in order to show me that it is OK to make mistakes.. but it was so trivial that it left me feeling uncomfortable, as if I am a child..
Oh I see..that would seriously annoy me! My T doesn't do things like that..he is too genuine...Well i'd like to think my T manipulates words and their expression rather than 'me'...carefully and subtly (to provoke, challenge, whatever). And when you read psychoanlytic case studies, that seems to be how it's done...but I can't see that i've ever veiwed it as fake or untruthful...like the example you've given.
> perhaps the word technique isnt the best choice but I don't know what to use instead..
Could always refer to it as the mechanics of therapy...or Ts 'position'...i mean the therapy is a range from supportive to expressive...words are used as tools-otherwise, there would be no therapy taking place-it would be just two people talking.
> well we are affected by what T's say or do because we trust that they "know and understand" what is going on with us and of course because they know a lot of intimate details that we wouldnt share with just anyone. There is also an element of respect of their opinion as opposed to a friend who doesnt have training in the field and is biased and subjective.
I can relate though for me, it's mostly child-parent transference feelings...so every verbal and non-verbal communication is more intense..and has an effect on me-much like how a child would feel around his parent.
> I was curious if people are attuned to their therapist's manipulations... I think that I always see what mine is trying to do..
Hmm. I can only think of one time where i thought T manipulated me...he said something that i could not rationalize; i kept thinking of all the why's he said it..then later, felt anger...then thought maybe he said something to outsmart me, to get me to quit rationalizing..it worked...i liked the affect, so i no longer cared 'why' he said it...and i now that i think of it-i rarely try to rationalize why he says things anymore; instead, i feel the emotional affect. That he did this makes me feel he cares for me to come up with a creative way to address this maladaptive trait. i still don't know for sure if that's why he said it, as it became irrelvent and turned out to be very therapeutic.
Sometimes when i feel provoked in some way by T, i evaluate myself first to see if i'm using projection... sometimes it's difficult to tell.
Are you going to ask her if she deliberately made a mistake? I would definitely address that..and am curious as to what she would say.
poster:violette
thread:961726
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/961785.html