Posted by Dinah on October 21, 2009, at 11:16:42
In reply to The Egg of Shame? Dinah, what is this?, posted by Tabitha on October 21, 2009, at 10:54:55
lol.
A few months ago I asked my therapist to give me some homework. I can't really recall the context now.
He gave me an exercise. Part of it I was ok with. I was supposed to come up with five words to describe my mother, my father, my role in teh family, things like that.
But one part I hated and have still been balking at completing. He says I have to do all of it or none of it. It's become a bit of a standing joke between us. I was supposed to draw a large egg on a piece of poster paper or presentation paper, and fill the egg with pictures of things from my past that were traumatic, or humiliating, etc.
I objected on many levels. I was uncomfortable with so much drawing, since I do not draw at all well. And I was very uncomfortable with putting down all these traumatic, and especially shameful, memories in one place, like a list. I didn't think it was at all a good way to deal with them, since it would come rattling off like a grocery list, without any accompanying affect.
He says we can spend as long as I like on each, and that bringing it in shows a willingness and readiness to deal with those things. I pointed out that it did no such thing, since I would only be doing it to please him. I think the idea is to bring these things up and release the shame of them.
I might be subconsciously trying to please him by bringing things up one at a time. But that doesn't address the stubborn impasse between us. He things I ought to do this one thing that *he* wants to do, and I'm unwilling to do the egg part of it. At least I'm unwilling to do it in the spirit it was intended, or with good grace. I offered to put in a few things or make up things...
Have I mentioned I can be very very stubborn myself?
poster:Dinah
thread:921791
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/921797.html