Posted by alexandra_k on April 28, 2009, at 10:31:34
In reply to Issues with therapist, posted by therapygirlandstuden on April 27, 2009, at 17:30:55
It can be hard when we need something and it just isn't there. I know that this is something that I go through with my therapist(s) too. I almost quit with my therapist, once, because I really did feel like every time I really needed him he simply didn't pull through for me. I missed a session (most unlike me) but then considered things a little more... I guess the issue came down to my thinking about whether it really was the case that every time I really needed him he didn't pull through or whether there were times that he did pull through but it was more that the times when he didn't were the only ones that I could really think of or remember when I was in that place. I realized that there were times that he pulled through for me and I realized that he did pull through for me actually during sessions on the majority of occasions. Do you think that your therapist is there for you at least some of the time? That makes a difference with respect to cost-benefit analysis of whether it is worth continuing, I guess.
I find it really hard when my therapist misunderstands my emotional state of where I am at. When he thinks that there is one kind of response that is required, but really it is another that is needed. Sounds a little like that is what is going on with the poem. It is a hard thing... I guess on the one hand they are trying (needen't have bothered responding at all) but hard to feel misunderstood like that.
It is hard to know. I have had therapists who really didn't pull through for me (cancelled sessions etc) in a way where I really would have been much better off seeing someone else if that had been an option for me. On the other hand I've almost given up on theraputic relationships because I felt really very let down (and was let down) whereas mostly they are there and I gained a whole heap from them and have been glad (in hindsight) that I didn't give up on the relationship. I have had therapists who really seemed to misunderstand my emotional state much of the time. That resulted in my feeling like my feelings weren't understandable or something. I would have been better off working with someone else if that was an option for me. On the other hand I've almost given up on helpful working relationships when someone who was basically understanding got some things radically wrong.
I don't really have any answers. Not sure that this is helpful at all. Sorry.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:893113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/893257.html