Posted by onceupon on February 5, 2009, at 10:34:03
In reply to Testing our relationships with our Ts (long), posted by antigua3 on February 5, 2009, at 9:34:50
Oh, antigua, I'm so sorry that you're experiencing so much pain right now. I'm going to try to gently play devil's advocate, so let me know if what I write is too invalidating. I understand how you could come to the conclusion that the message is that you need to learn to deal with this on your own. But there are other possible explanations too. It sucks that your T and pdoc are imperfect people who miss sometimes. Witti mentioned in a thread that I started above that it is the negative interactions in therapy, no matter how infrequent or out of character (that's my interpretation), that have the most intense, longest-lasting effects. And of course, this makes sense, but it doesn't erase the good. You've written about a lot of good in your relationship with your T, and more recently, with your pdoc as well.
Perhaps going to that deep, painful place with your pdoc was a test. And in one way, he passed, in that he was able to tolerate the depth of your emotion. He didn't pass with flying colors because he didn't understand your implicit call for help in your subsequent note. But what I'm curious about is how you got to the place of allowing yourself to trust your pdoc enough to share those feelings with him. He's certainly been imperfect in the past. So how did you come to trust him, knowing that he is imperfect?
I'm sorry too that your T has been distracted. I imagine that must feel devastating. I want to suggest that you consider reaching out to her or your pdoc. But I get it that you don't want to have to.
I apologize if this sounds patronizing. That's certainly not my intent. And I know it's a little rambly, since I'm not thinking at my clearest this morning. My heart goes out to you right now. Take care.
poster:onceupon
thread:878199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/878202.html