Posted by backseatdriver on December 31, 2008, at 19:46:10
In reply to Re: In the midst of it all » Dinah, posted by Little Soul on December 31, 2008, at 13:18:02
Hi LS --
Your post chimed with a lot of my experience, especially in early life. Abandonment is so hard to process and when it happens in early childhood I think it is much worse, because small children just don't have any tools, any words for their experience. It is overstimulating, overwhelming.
You mentioned feeling kind of competitive with your T, in terms of speed of healing. This made me wonder if there are multiple aspects to your transference. Like she is your mom, but also perhaps a sibling?
My T is sometimes my mother, sometimes my father -- often in very, very quick succession. It was a shock, to me at least, to realize transferences can be faceted in this way. But apparently it's not unusual. In the countertransference, I am sometimes his mother (I hate that) and sometimes his sister (I don't like that much either).
One thing I learned recently is that with early mother abandonment, sometimes what needs to be constructed in therapy is the whole idea of *relationship*. After that first loss and breach of trust, we never really learn or are in a position to begin to learn how to be happy, and fully ourselves, and fully present in *connection*. (It is easier to be alone. But we miss out, too.)
Yours,
Backseatdriver
poster:backseatdriver
thread:871513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/871695.html