Posted by DAisym on November 23, 2008, at 18:56:46
In reply to Re: The L word with T? Irony. » JayMac, posted by lucie lu on November 23, 2008, at 15:21:15
I was struck by what Lucie said about the therapist being a stand in and how eventually one should move to expressing loving feelings to someone IRL. And I thought, "well yes, I guess that is the ultimate goal. But what if the love you feel for your therapist is really for THEM and generated BY them?" So I've been thinking about this.
Of course, transference exists in all relationships. How could it not? But I do think that we can have strong loving feelings for our therapist that they have "earned" if I can say it that way. I think, perhaps, that is why their response is so important and carries so much anxiety for all of us. We want them to accept our love - not necessarily return it. We want them to know it is for them and for them to take it in and hold it. And I think we want them to acknowledge that this capacity we have to love them and to trust them enough to express the love, is a frightening, wonderful thing. I think loving is as powerful as being loved. It is incredible to know you can feel so deeply and it is even more incredible when they accept your love as special and OK - not something to run from or something that will taint them. Because isn't it really a step toward growth - to be able to love someone who has been kind and helpful to you?
Just some rambling musings after a long weekend.
Good luck with this.
Daisy
poster:DAisym
thread:864636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/864925.html