Posted by seldomseen on October 2, 2008, at 18:32:42
In reply to Re: What's the most inane conversation you've ever had » seldomseen, posted by Nadezda on October 2, 2008, at 17:22:33
We did revisit it yesterday actually. He says that it was just a phrasing and I believe him.
I did tell him that I was a competent woman that was having a rather hard time right now etc...
He absolutely agreed. He said that while we clearly had different roles in the therapy dynamic, there was no "toddler" feeling there.
I'm rather like a bear at times I think. When a bear feels threatened they will charge, usually not with the intent to attack, but to simply scare off the threat. They will snort and cavort about. It works.
I do that sometimes when I feel threatened, my therapist understands this and just lets me cavort about until I get to the real issue - that, like the bear, I'm scared.
I couldn't understand what was/is happening to me and naming it seemed to make it much worse. I couldn't even really find the words to describe how I was feeling.
Once I finished cavorting he emphasized that he views my current state as a blending of the remnants of past abuse conflated with strong bipolar "tendencies". (Be sure to read that with the hand quotes around tendencies).
I have had a *lot* of triggers lately that have significantly threatened my sense of security.
Jokes aside, I think this is actually correct and is going to serve as the middle of the road. I simply can not and do not have to absorb the same diagnosis as one of my primary abusers. He reiterated that he is not a big "diagnosis" kind of guy, what matters is how I feel.
Which right now is better. I feel a lot less crazy and whole lot more understood both by him and by myself.
Thank you so much for thinking about me and for listening.
Take care
Seldom
poster:seldomseen
thread:854263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855331.html