Posted by lemonaide on October 2, 2008, at 12:45:30
In reply to Re: My T had the secretary call me, instead of him » lemonaide, posted by Partlycloudy on October 2, 2008, at 8:31:09
I think I need a nap, didn't sleep well last night. My doct raised up my dosage to 90mg of Cymbalta. But what I wasn't expecting was an intense emotional appointment. He got on me about my life when I told him I am tired of living. He talked about my marriage and how I need to change my life if I want this depression to get better, otherwise I am just putting on a band aide on the problem. Okay, I know this, but it was hard to hear it again from someone.
I was in tears through out the appointment. He wants me to take self defense or learn to use a gun so I can feel more powerful against my mom. Seems like he is trying to toughen me up or something. He spent over 1/2 hour with me and that is a long time with family practitioner. But I like that he takes his time with patients when he needs to. He told me I had such a good heart, but I wear it on my sleeve, but I am really a good person. He wants me to do the internship, to keep my goals in mind and because it is a good opportunity I have been given. It is so weird to be told I wear my heart on my sleeve, because I was never this way before therapy, I was actually mostly the opposite. Then 2 hours later I met with my new TI am so relieved to talk to someone who understand PTSD, child abuse and T abuse. It was like she could end my sentences. Plus I can sit on a big comfy couch! I like that, it was way more comfortable than a big chair. It was cool she got what I said, and offered me validation about my old T, both of them. She asked me really good questions, basically got a good general overview of my life.
One things that she said was that she was going to make sure she keep boundaries secure for me, because I haven't had that with my T in my life or many others while growing up. I said I would be grateful for that. I even have these worksheets about boundaries in everyday life I am suppose to read and think about.
She is going to look at my website, she knows what is on it and she understands my anger from my old T. I made another appointment with her, I feel good about this one. It is funny how you can know right away if it isn't going to work. But I think I have a chance with her. So we will see how it goes next week.
poster:lemonaide
thread:855089
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/855275.html