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My thoughts on what happened.

Posted by Amanda29 on September 20, 2008, at 13:10:46

In reply to Here is my T response to why he did this.., posted by Amanda29 on September 19, 2008, at 15:38:44

This is what I think...I do not agree with the way that my T does things from time to time. I certainly don't agree with the way that he "Challenges" me. I get over it. But, I don't handle them well at all...especially when I am having a hard time talking about sensitive topics...like I was the past couple of weeks. I have emailed him several times since Thursday and he only responded to my first email, but he knows how I feel right now.

I made a mistake of sharing what happened to my sister and dad and my dad is livid talking about how unprofessional he is, and my sister...I talked to her on the phone and she was calling him a jerk and saying that she hopes she never meets him in person because she would have a lot to say to him. I told her she never would meet him and she told me to not be so sure. I asked her what she meant and she told me that she might google him and get his information off of the internet and his phone numbers and find out where he lives and drive to his house and call him and email him..(basically stalk him). I told her she wouldnt do that because that isn't her. (That is unfortunatly more like something that I would do). I told her that if she did something like that I would stop talking to her. THAT COULD NOT ONLY HURT HER..BUT ME AS WELL..BECAUSE HE COULD FEEL THREATENED AND FEEL LIKE HE HAD TO DISCONTINUE THEARPY WITH ME) I can't have that.


You might be wondering why I even want to continue in T with him..but this is my deal.. I don't agree with him at times, but that does NOT mean that I want to let him go and never be his patient again. We can work through this..and my feelings of anger towards him ..in reality I dont think that I am truely ANGRY at him....I have to look into that..but I think the anger is about me.
I did tell him I Cannot handle being challenged when I am having such a bad day..and that next time he wants to do something like that he should give me a heads up or explanation AFTER he has done that..and before I leave his office...so that I am not FREAKING OUT.

Anyway, I need to be locked in a room with him so I can get my frustrations out and ..oh ..I told him that I needed to let off some steam and that If I raise my voice at my next session on Thursday that I need for him to just TAKE IT ALL, and not say anything and to just let me get it out...and NOT look at me weird or throw something back in my face...and at the end...(I didnt tell him this) but I would like for him to be able to say something like "ok Amanda that was really good and you did well by expressing yourself and I can tell you are struggling and I dont think less of you I think you are strong and brave for saying with you did and I am proud of you...)I need to hear something positive...

Anyway. Sorry so long. I have so many thoughts of what is happening to me right now....don't be surprised if I post another one. :)

And thank you. Thank you for all of your comments.It is great to have support and empathy from people...I need all the support I can get.

Thanks.

A


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poster:Amanda29 thread:852530
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853101.html