Posted by Dinah on September 16, 2008, at 16:57:44
In reply to Re: A blessing, but not unmixed » Dinah, posted by lucie lu on September 16, 2008, at 15:52:41
It's not really unusual for me to be negative about myself in this context.
I've always felt appropriate self regard meant being honest about my flaws and weaknesses as well as my strengths. Perhaps today they are filled with more than normal emotional reaction. Usually I'm pretty objective about it. But it's been a tough weekend.
I saw a picture of myself publicly displayed. Ugh.
I embarrassed myself by speaking too freely.
I'm feeling a bit of self loathing over my weight.
I think there was more as well, but my head hurts and I can't think too well.
The funny thing is that my therapist used to see these things about me too. He was reasonably open about it. I really don't think it's me who changed. It's just that as he has gotten to know me, he stopped seeing so much the objective person I present to the world. He started seeing "Dinah". When you start caring about someone, it *is* hard to be objective about them. You don't see the ugliness, or the awkwardness. You smile at the gaucheries and think "Yes, that's Dinah for you."
Or maybe I'm crediting his fondness for me too much. Maybe he just figures I am who I am and I'll never change, so he'll help me make the most of it. But isn't that an untherapeutic way of looking at it? Shouldn't he at least pretend to support my desire to change, even if he believes it will peter out over a short period of time?
poster:Dinah
thread:852299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852335.html