Posted by Wittgensteinz on September 16, 2008, at 15:42:54
In reply to Have you ever told your therapist... (trigger), posted by DAisym on September 15, 2008, at 21:15:13
(((Daisy)))
I've read your posts for a long while, and your T sounds wonderful. I think he can handle everything you have for him - even your anger and hatred.
I've not said those words - I've felt them, although always with some ambiguity (not to the extent that I've stopped liking/loving him on some level). For the first time, last Friday I walked out half way through the session. I felt so furious toward him. The last week I've been pushing him away and begging for him to stay close - what a mess! The more I push him away, the more I'm terrified he'll leave me - the more I hate the fact he has the power to do that. A couple of times I haven't turned up to sessions or have sent him cold e-mails (not rude, just formal and cold, telling him I can't trust him).
Each time I've acted this way, he's let it happen and helped me learn from it. He writes reassuring mails to tell me he won't leave, in response to my not so friendly mails. This weekend he wrote: I won't leave you, that's for sure. You can leave me, by making another attempt on your life, but I will always be there for you.
When things have settled, we process it - we see where the mistakes were made, on my part and on his - normally something has triggered the lack of trust.
I'm not sure if this is that helpful for you. I hope you get through this time and have better times again soon. You have a very special therapist.
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:852198
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852320.html