Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 12, 2008, at 7:35:16
In reply to Re: Flutterby and All..... » sassyfrancesca, posted by lucie lu on September 11, 2008, at 17:13:40
> Hi Sassy,
>
> You know, weve talked and brainstormed a lot about the money side of the insurance problem (and not without good reason).Yes, this is true.
I agree with Dinah that it's pretty important for your T to be with you on this sooner rather than later;
I know that is true; you and Dinah summed it up succintly!
I hate to see you carrying such a big burden of worry on your shoulders alone.
Thankyou...
And how will you be able to work with him all that time, keeping such a big secret within you? Maybe what's putting you in a bind, preventing you from being able to talk to him about it, is that darned elephant in the consulting room.
Yes, there is always that "darned elephant in the consulting room"....Actually, I have been carrying this worry/burden for way over a year.
I know you have had those strong feelings for your T for a long time (and not without some mixed signals, it has sounded like). It also sounds like those powerful feelings have never been resolved enough to be absorbed or at least accommodated into your real relationship with him.
Well, have been in love with him for a very long time, and we have discussed it many times.
That combination of ambiguity, complexity and intensity can make for some pretty high stakes in the relationship department.
Absolutely.
Do you feel that if you tell him now you might upset this delicate, but loaded, balance between you two? yes.
And if so, how much is he aware of how precarious it feels to you? And that youd rather have what you have now for six more months, at the expense of carrying this burden and uncertainty alone? You know this might actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise if it allows you to work through some of those tangled issues. And maybe then you'll feel more confident and from that vantage point, can work with him on a solution that will make you feel more secure?
Unfortunately, the only solution would be for him to see me without paying him. Years ago, I asked what would happen if I lost my job and couldn't pay him. He said "we would work something out." In this case....it is either I see him for free, or not at all, because there is nothing to work out moneywise........
Of course, it is all complicated by our feelings for each other (as he says....our "chemistry")
I realize he never should have let me know of his feelings for me. It makes it so difficult for me. He has led me on Big-time...and he knows it.
Thank you so much for your love and kindness.....to you and all... who have responded.
Hugs n Love, Sassy
> Love, Lucie
>
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:850983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/851634.html