Posted by Amanda29 on August 3, 2008, at 11:53:46
In reply to Re: lying to therapist., posted by Nadezda on August 3, 2008, at 11:36:49
"Fourth, what's so terrible about going to a group? why would it be so hurtful to your self-image? you have been addicted to something; there's no shame in going to a group and working to maintain your accomplishments-- with other people who are dedicated to the same thing. Don't you respect others in such a group? I would, personally-- I think it's heroic to make the effort and to go through the struggle, even if it's difficult to go."
I agree that there is no shame in going to a group..but my issue is that I have never been able to accept myself as one of those people. The entire time I was at rehab, I wanted to get better but I didnt see myself as one of those people, I was in denial. I did everything I was supposed to at rehab, and I went to every meeting and suppport group that was there, but I told myself that once rehab was over, that would be it.
I dont like the idea of living with this label the rest of my life. And yet I have no choice.I respect the people that go to support groupw, I think they are the strong ones and I am the weak one, but I just cannot go..I know people tell me to suck it up and just go, but that is easier said than done for me. I am afraid that just being around them would make me want to use again...hearing their stories and all would just trigger me.
I know this all sounds stupid and I probably sound like a baby but, it is really hard for me to accept the fact that I did this to myself..and it is something I will have to live with the rest of my life.I dont like talking to my psychologist about this because in his eyes, what I did was wrong (he is right) but he doesnt like talking about it. He makes me feel like I made a serious mistake and that now I have to deal with the consequences of it...(which he is right again...) but I just dont want to deal with any of it. I want him to tell me that yes I made a mistake but that I will be OK and everything will turn out OK. :)
poster:Amanda29
thread:843737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/843879.html