Posted by muffled on July 17, 2008, at 9:12:48
In reply to Re: Wrestling » llurpsienoodle, posted by Daisym on July 17, 2008, at 0:35:56
Daisy, sorry its so damn hard right now :-(
Your right tho, you will come out of the pit again. May not seem like it, but you will.
Can you meet T in a church office in the area? My oldT worked out of an office in a church.
Daisy, you said "He tells me we get through it all together and that he won't let go. But eventually he'll have to, if only to save himself."
This is not true. I'm sad you said this, but glad, cuz it connects to how I could NEVER understand how come oldT didn't dump me. When its someone else sometimes I can see stuff, its hard to see stuff round myself.
But see, you and your T DO have a connection, and its REAL. He couldn't 'let go' if he wanted to, AND THATS OK. He holds you in his heart. You are there. Maybe it hurts some, but that is love. It just is. I only kinda sorta get this, but its starting to sink in some. Agape love. Voluntary, spiritual, sacrificial love. Love, even if it hurts sometimes. Love of all of who we are, even the parts of us we are most shamed by......agape. This pleases God, let him be there for you.
You can't take meds cuz of surgery? Have you checked to be sure? I found AD's helped when I was in the pit, deep in the pit. Helped me climb out maybe? or maybe helped it be more tolerable anyways.
Can you try to be around safe people when you can? As much as possible? Can you let some other safe people into your inner world? Can you do some nice things that your ikids might enjoy? Does the part of you that is a mom talk to ikids at all? Can you have less of a workload at work? I am SO glad you were able to tell yout M&D to back off.
Do you think I'm hideous cuz I am disconnected from my parents? My sister got a puppy, its so cute. Border collie cross.
Damn Daisy I am trying to find right words. You were hurt bad, but you have wisdom and strength, I wish I could say right things, but maybe this just takes time.
I say prayers for you anyhow FWIW.
You don't need to reply if you don't want to. I be thinking of you, alla you, and wishing you some peace. I pray for your T too, and am thankful that he is in your life, he seems a good man.
M
poster:muffled
thread:839785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080709/msgs/840135.html